a little more instagram love

 if you LOVE instagram {like me... who might have 2210 pictures} then check out this magical place!

my buddy-ol'-pal clued me in. my happy mail arrived today and i am happy!

i ordered some prints and the sticker book.

the paper quality of the prints is very nice. card stock grade. i feel like it was worth the money. 

i had to arm wrestle moo away from the stickers. she immediately took possession and i immediately digressed to the maturity of a first grader. {when you can't beat 'em... join 'em}

hindsight

14 years ago i was tucked into a bean bag chair. my feet up on the dresser with the gold handles. staring at my toes. on the phone with him.

my 15 year old brave, innocent, naive self boldly asked a question that would single handedly change my entire future. i wore my heart on my sleeve. i was young and strong and unscathed.

i simply asked, 'what am i to you?'

and he said, 'my girlfriend'. in that single moment my fate was forever changed.

we stood together after our high school graduation. in college. when i received my degree. on our wedding day. he stood there as i showed him that pregnancy test. when our babies were born.

i unknowingly made the smartest decision of my life asking him that question 14 years ago.

<3

{for the record: he teases me often and says i'd be face down in the gutter without him}
some days... i might agree

she :)

she will be three... THREE!... in two short months. oh my heart.

she calls us scoogie and him 'super dad' and likes to tell me 'no thanks!'

she came home with a tulip bulb. she handed it to me and said, 'please turn this into a flower for me.'

i asked her if she learns about God during chapel and she quickly replied, 'no, just Jesus.'

she could live off lady and the tramp, applesauce squeezes and yogurt with snowflake sprinkles. {that she sprinkles herself. that may or may not be a small mound by the time she's satisfied. at 8 am.} when she watches lady she says, 'it's the beav, it's the beav' when that beaver with a lisp appears. and we chuckle.

she wants a story at bedtime. her GG every.single.day. she hates the pug. {she jumps up on her. and steals food.} she tells us that she misses seaworld.

she wants to name our chickens leichy two shoes and maqwerin. she eats salmon. and pork chops. and loves avocados.

today she put her head in my lap and said... 'i love you so much mommy.'
i love you too scoogie. i love you too.

cliff bars and poop look incredibly similar

when waterlogged in the tub.

i put the niz kid in the tub with a piece of kids cliff bar. he immediately dropped it. and squish it. and stirred it all around the tub.

later, ryan pulled him out of the tub. he convinced me i need to clean the bathwater since i was to blame for the crumbly mess.

as i'm scooping up big chunks, i look closer to realize that this is not a cliff bar. not at all. this is poop. {as i'm studying it in my finger tips}

all i can think... oh my god! he was squishing and stirring and possibly sampling poop!

ryan walked in and asked what happened... holding back laughter. he had caught the niz kid pooping and promptly taken him out. there was no poop eating.

he was laughing so hard... collapsing on the bed type laughter.

then he asked... did you wash your hands? ummm... rude.

hi... i'm new here

i've walked away from this post several times. it's hard to write without the fear of judgement.

i've been feeling guilty lately. feeling a little sad that i crave alone time. that i prefer quiet car rides. that i love to craft with the girls, text, tune out. somedays i think i'm doing it all wrong.

i feel selfish and impatient. some nights i lay awake recalling the events of the day with tears in my eyes.

then... i read this quote. and a blog post from another mom who admitted to these same wrong doings.

i didn't feel so alone. so guilty.

i am fairly new at this 'mom' thing.

there's a whole bunch of this 'stuff' swirling around in my brain. 'enjoy the moment' 'they grow so quickly' 'don't you just love it?' 'my kids are my WORLD' 'i miss those days'... and it becomes this jumble of pain and anxiety and excitement and remorse. i just keep thinking... i'm not enjoying it enough. which somehow translates to... i don't love them enough. which i know is silly. even writing it right now seems a little dramatic. but there are these underlying feelings.

the other day my mom called. she said... i don't miss those days. she meant the sick babies, teething, after school melt downs. i felt completely validated. i felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders in that moment. that is it 'okay' to admit that it is hard. that perhaps in twenty years i won't feel great sadness that this part is over.

and then my brilliant 'club mommy' friend said this, 'some people remember the early days as hard days but most women think about them and only remember the happy thoughts. it's crazy because that's what is meant to happen. we are supposed to forget all of it so we want to do it again.'

i am truly blessed to have strong, smart women in my life i can confide in. who support me without judgement. who give me perspective.

buffalo chicken sliders

on super bowl sunday i tried something new... buffalo chicken sliders. success.

here's how:
3 lb bag of frozen chicken
12 oz bottle of Frank's Buffalo Wing Sauce {pay attention... there are many varieties}
1 packet of Ranch salad dressing

yeah... that's all you need. three simple items. my idea of perfection.

1. throw the entire bag of frozen meat in a big ol' pot and set heat to low.
2. pour the entire bottle of Frank's on top.
3. sprinkle the ranch packet over top.

simmer.

once the meat is fully cooked, shred the meat into tiny pieces. i used my tongs and a fork.

simmer some more so the buffalo wing sauce soaks into each piece.

done!

we put the buffalo chicken on rolls. we also cut up celery and carrots to add as a side.

the next night we added the meat to quesadillas and they were heavenly.

wordless wednesday

i've been doing a little of this...

 and that...

my resume will soon include: chicken farmer.