panic

goodbye jumperoo. goodbye swing. they are officially off to be enjoyed by a new family. a new baby. i have long awaited this day. a day to clear a few things out.

and then... as i walked by that spot upstairs, where the lines are still in the rug, i stopped. and i looked at it. and i felt a sense of panic come over me. and tears. how are my babies done with that? how are my babies this big? how is that already gone?

and i sat down and wanted to cry. {okay... i did} and not because it is gone. we haven't used it in months. but because we just keep moving forward. and in the craziness and chaos i feel like it's passing me by. like it's almost too hard to enjoy.

i say things to myself like... 'phew... i survived that day'. and that week. and that month. and now i'm looking around saying... stop.

i worry that this is going to keep happening.

and deep down i already know it is.