mommy therapy

when i was pregnant with baby D i remember reading a friend's facebook post. it went something to the tune of, "it's just been one of those days. i need to get out of this house and away from these kids." she has two little ones. i remember exactly how i felt when i read it. i shuddered. in fear.

i expected that two kids would be more challenging. that i would have 'those days'. i worried about how i would handle it. how the stress would affect me. how would i be able to remain calm? patient? caring? motherly?... sane?

i had one of 'those days' this week. i woke up just feeling off. moo was being rather demanding, like most mornings. she is so similar to me it's uncanny. i feel demanding in the morning too... so it's just not the best place to be. we're both pretty grumped out in those early hours. i blame my genes for her bad attitude. breakfast wasn't ready quick enough. the dvr was taking too long to load sesame street. her blanket was under baby D in the swing... just enough to make her crazy and me crazier.

the day was running pretty smoothly until baby D decided that something was bugging him. he screamed incessantly. he wouldn't latch. walking didn't help. outside didn't help. sitting up, laying down, bounced, still... nothing was working. everything was irritating the poor guy. he finally decided to eat around 2 pm. not eating has NEVER happened before. this child would live on me if it was possible.

by 3 he was happy and content. no signs that he was going to relapse back into that state of misery. i think it may be teething... the first stages.

on that same note, it was the first night of my new bunco group. a group that i was excited to meet. a day i had longed for. a night away. all girls. all grown ups! so the thought of calling in sick the first night, taking baby D to kaiser, possible prescriptions, and follow up appointments brought me to tears. i know, selfish. but i selfishly wanted to get away for a few hours. i wanted to have a drink. wanted to eat delicious food... dessert. luckily for me the stars magically aligned and he went back to his normal self and i got to get out.

while i was contemplating my decision, i was running this hypothetical conversation in my head. something like:
doctor: what seems to be the problem here? what are his symptoms?
ryan: ummm, well... he was crying... more than usual. he wouldn't nurse.
doctor: what do you mean? what exactly was he doing?
ryan: ummmm.... i wasn't there but my wife said he wouldn't latch on. he kept crying.
doctor: how long did this happen? did he have a fever?
ryan: ummm... i'm not sure. my wife just said he cried... a lot.
doctor: where is your wife?
ryan: bunco.

who does that? right? who leaves their husband to take their excursively breastfed, possibly sick, baby to the doctor... alone? how crazy would we have looked? as parents? as a partnership? that doctor would have thought i was a whack job. luckily this only took place in my brain and not in real life. luckily kaiser didn't have to write a little note in our file that i was some dead beat mom who buncos it up instead of taking her baby to urgent care.
{p.s. i wouldn't have gone if he continued with his symptoms. he really did snap out of it. ryan said they had a great evening. he was snug as a bug when i got home.}

my first night of mommy therapy (bunco) was a success. it was so fun, relaxing, hilarious. all the girls seem to mesh. the food was outstanding. the margaritas were delightful. i even won baby bunco- the last bunco of the night.

it was just what i needed. i came home happy. i missed my babies and the husband. funny how four measly hours can reboot you. refresh a tried mom. make you miss those same creatures that earlier were driving you crazy. funny how therapy works.

and i appreciate therapy sessions that include alcohol and cinnamon gummy bears.